The Weakness in Me
by Moonstruck678
Summary: Sophie is still grieving the loss of the love of her life 3 years previously when she unwillingly agree's to let her best friends pregnant sister move in with them.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Leaning against the kitchen worktop, Sophie flicked down the kettle switch as she reached over and picked her phone up off the counter top where it had been charging since she went to bed a few hours earlier. She sighed out heavily to herself at the time blinking brightly from it. 3.45am. This had become the usual pattern for the young brunette, going to bed exhausted, falling into an uneasy, often broken sleep, then waking up at some ungodly hour, unable to make herself succumb once more to some much needed slumber. She hated this time of the day it was too quiet, too hushed. She hated the stillness of the dead of night it just didn't feel right, she was much happier watching the sun rise and a new day begin; she loved the hustle and bustle daylight inevitably brought.

Life hadn't been easy for the young woman her business that she had started 4 years previously, was struggling. The small bookshop she'd opened on a road near the University in Salford initially went well. Student's poured in looking for that elusive hardback text book for their course, or picking out a classic that Sophie specialised in tracking down.

She loved book's, always had, she could escape into a good book, a book could take her to places no film ever could. She was passionate about them, reading any new book that came onto the market with a recommendation ardently, with enthusiasm and an open mind, only to give her own recommendations to her clientele when asked for her opinion, which was always heeded.

But along with the cutbacks and increased tuition fee's came the consequences and now the recession was biting hard, she'd barely been able to take a wage the last 9 months and was barely surviving. She knew she'd have to make a decision about her future and the future of her business and she'd have to make one soon. She'd invested so much into that little shop, literately blood, sweat and tears, as well as her parents £20,000 and it was all disappearing right in front of her eyes. This in all likelihood she surmised was the reason for her disturbed semi sleepless nights, that along with the nightmares that had persistently haunted her for the past 3 years. Laying her head on top of her forearms that were folded in front of her on top of the table, she closed her eyes letting out a long exhausted sigh.

'Just 5 minutes' she thought 'I'll just close my eyes for 5 minutes'

'Hey come on, Webbers, you've done it again babes'

Fingers being jabbed in her ribs and the loudness of the words shouted out by her flatmate made the brunette literally jump out of her skin.

Mike was as good a friend as anyone could have; they'd met at University and just seem to gravitate to one another, initially of course it had been pure animal attraction on Mike's part, oh yeah he fancied Sophie along with 95% of the uni males under 30's, and in part they had 'dabbled' although very quickly realising that being friends was a much better option, although at the time Mike didn't fully realise the real reason why.

Mike had been there for Sophie through thick and thin, good and bad, through confusion and then eventually clarity as finally at the age of 19 Sophie embraced the feelings she'd been denying to herself and everyone else around her, her whole life, she was gay, she liked girls and she just couldn't deny it any longer. And Mike was there to see her through the difficulties that, that clarification brought. The initial shock then finally acceptance from her family and friends, her first love and along with it her first broken heart. And he'd been there for her after the accident, after that one split second that changed the young woman's life forever, he'd been there when she cried out in pain and screamed in anger, pushing everyone away, blaming God and the world and anything else she could think of for devastating her life in the way it had. Yeah he'd been there through all of it with her, the happy, the sad, the rebellion and the calm, he'd see it all, and he loved her all the more for it.

And now since things had got difficult financially for the young brunette and she couldn't afford the upkeep and rent on her flat on her own he'd moved in with her. It had made perfect sense, Mike at the tender age of 26 was one of the leading members at the universities Biochemical research department, specialising in the detection and treatment of parasitic diseases, and as Sophie's flat was just a 10 minute walk away from the University him moving in made perfect sense, and they revelled in their new domestic arrangement.

Mike was the kind of bloke everybody adored he was charming, handsome, intelligent and shrewd. He was a lady's man and at the same time a bloke's bloke. His army of friends kept him more than occupied during any free time he had, between his football practice twice a week, a weekly pool tournament, Wednesday evening squash and every Saturday afternoon spent in the pub watching either the rugby or whatever football match was being shown on TV that day. And he had no problem attracting the female of the species either, he liked female company and they seemed to like him, yep he was popular alright, very popular, often turning up on a Saturday or Sunday morning all wild hair and creased clothes, making Sophie giggle and more than often blush as he imparted in a completely ungentlemanly way what he and his latest conquest had got up to the night before. But recently all that had changed, Mike had met some-one, he'd got himself a girlfriend and he was smitten, this woman had completely bowled him over, knocked him for six, and it intrigued Sophie, who could be this femme fatal that had calmed the wild ways of 'The Mike'.

'Tonight my dearest friend, me and you are hitting the town' Mike announced filling the kettle at the sink.

'Huh' Sophie replied raising her weary head off the tabletop and opening one eye at the statement.

'Can't I'm broke' she announced before letting her head drop dramatically once more onto her crossed over arms.

'Yep, but I'm not' Mike replied with a grin 'payday' he sang as he took 2 mugs placing them on the counter top.

Sophie groaned at her friend's excitement, sighing she straightened up raking her fingers through her wayward messy bed hair with one hand as she rubbed her tired eyes with the other.

'I'm not really up to it mate' she answered with a yawn.

And in truth she wasn't, it had only been a few weeks since her break up with Emma, the split hadn't completely been unexpected, nobody could say that it had taken them completely by surprise the relationship between them had been strained for months. The truth being that Sophie's heart was never really in it, she cared for Emma of course she did, but her heart never belonged to her, no that particular part of her anatomy had long been claimed by some-one other, some-one who she loved and who had loved her back... Vicky.

They'd met at a friend's party, it was love at first sight for Sophie, Vicky was different from anyone else she'd ever met, she was funny and intelligent, and she was beautiful, breathtaking in fact, she had long blonde hair that changed colour slightly every time the light caught it in a different way, her eyes were the colour of melted chocolate that dilated into blackness during the throes of passion, her lips were a luscious pink and her skin tanned, the attraction between them was palpable and immediate, after the initial introduction they'd spent the rest of the night tucked away in some corner, talking, laughing and flirting outrageously until the early hours of the morning.

They made plans to meet up again after that night, little knowing that a day wouldn't go by when they didn't see each other after that first meeting. Then 2 years of bliss was abruptly ended, brutally halted by the careless actions of a drunken driver. Vicky had finished her shift at the pub she had a part time job at, she'd texted Sophie saying she was on her way over, but she never arrived. The crash was so horrific it was all over the news, her car had been rammed into the path of an oncoming lorry, sending it spinning out of control and rolling it 3 times before it came to a stop upside down on its roof, she'd been killed instantly. The tragedy sent Sophie into a spiral of deep depression punctuated by drunken rages, distancing herself from her worried family and close friends, losing herself for days in alcoholic stupors. That was until Mike intervened, he let her vent, let her take out her frustrations and pain on him. He hugged her when she needed it, left her to cry when she had to and slowly brought her back from the edge of the darkness that had engulfed her. It had taken her 2 years to even think about another relationship, and when Mike introduced her to a 'family friend' Emma, Sophie thought she was finally at a place where she could love again, but she was wrong, the guilt was just stifling for the brunette, yes Vicky was dead but she was still as much in love with her memory as she'd ever been with her, and she just couldn't shake that feeling, no matter how much she tried.

She knew Emma was perfect girlfriend material, she was pretty, funny, attentive, and loving, and she'd undoubtedly fallen in love with Sophie the first time she met her, but she knew Sophie never felt the same, and when they finally sat down and said the words that had been praying on both women's minds for so long, it had been painful. Lots of tears were shed and 'You know I'll always care about you' said between them before a final embrace.

In truth Sophie was relieved, but that didn't mean she didn't miss Emma, miss the odd night they spent watching some cheesy 80's horror film eating popcorn on the sofa, it didn't mean she didn't miss the cheeky bum slaps she got every time she passed her ex-girlfriend in the hallway, it didn't mean she didn't miss the unexpected lunchtime visit's when Emma would turn up with the latest weird sandwich combination she'd just discovered at 'Subway' for Sophie to try, and it didn't mean she didn't miss her, just miss the company, the conversation, the companionship, the intimacy.

'Well to be honest Soph, I do have an ulterior motive for wanting to ply you with drink' Mike said turning as he switched the kettle on.

'No' Sophie replied as she stood

'You don't know what I'm gonna ask yet' Mike replied following the brunette through the flat.

'No you're not moving your girlfriend in' Sophie replied slamming the bathroom door behind her stopping the tall blonde man's advance.

'Hell no' Mike shouted through the wooden obstacle between them 'why the hell would I want to do that, I've only been seeing her 6 weeks'.

Slowly Sophie opened the door to be met by the pouting features of her flat mate.

'What then' she asked leaning against the doorframe, folding her arms across her chest.

'It's my sister' he sighed out, slumping back against the wall opposite.

'She's got herself into a bit of bother, and she need's somewhere to stay for a while' he continued as he stared intently at the by now concerned features of his flatmate.

'What's happened' Sophie questioned reaching out to her best friend and rubbing his arm comfortingly.

Sighing Mike shook his head as he let his gaze lower to the floor,

'She's got herself pregnant',

'Shit' came the reply as Sophie slumped back against the wall.

'You know what my Dad's like Soph, he went ape shit on the lad's arse, and now the little scum bag's took off leaving her on her own'.

Sophie smiled sympathetically and nodded for her friend to continue.

'Dad's really not happy about it, putting pressure on her to get rid of the baby, but she's having none of it' he hesitated tilting his head downwards he closed his eyes 'he's thrown her out Soph'.

'No' Sophie replied in shock, 'What's your Mum said about it' she continued ducking her head trying to catch his eye.

'She doesn't care, does she' Mike replied angrily throwing his head back, 'She's too busy swanning around with her latest conquest to care about her 20 year old pregnant, homeless daughter'.

Sophie shook her head in disbelief puffing out a disgusted huff. Yeah she knew Mike's family, knew them too damn well, his violent, obnoxious Father, and his uncaring, unloving, hard-hearted Mother who just up and left them one day when Mike was 11 and his sister just 5.

'Look Mike, of course she can stay here until she get's herself sorted' Sophie said rubbing his arm reassuringly.

'We've got a spare room it's no hassle'. She continued offering as much support to her friend as she could.

'It'll only be for a couple of month's Soph' he replied smiling 'she'll be out of here before the baby's born' he continued, relief evident on his rugged features, 'and I'll pay her way, don't worry about that, you won't be out of pocket I promise'

Sophie smiled 'It's fine Mike, honest tell her she can come over any time... okay'.

Mike grinned and nodded as he pushed himself away from the wall.

'She's sleeping on a friend's couch at the moment in Bury; I'll give her a call later and tell her the good news'. Sophie smiled and nodded.

'How about that cup of tea eh' he said rubbing his hands together as he brushed past the brunette and made his way back towards the kitchen.

'20 eh' Sophie piped up following her flatmate into the kitchen 'can't believe she's 20 Mike, the last time I saw he she was just a gawky kid at your 21st birthday party I think'.

'Yeah' Mike laughed pouring the steaming water into the teapot, 'She was so sulky wasn't she, she had those horrendous braces on her teeth and those NHS glasses do you remember'.

Sophie laughed as she thought back to that night, but in all honesty she was much too drunk to remember much about it at all.

All she knew was that her friend, her friend who'd stood by her, dried her tears and comforted her in her darkest hours, her friend who'd been there through thick and thin, her best friend in the world needed her help and she wasn't about to let him down.


	2. The Weakness In Me (chapter 3)

**Chapter 2**

All she knew was that her friend, her friend who'd stood by her, dried her tears and comforted her in her darkest hours, her friend who'd been there through thick and thin, her best friend in the world needed her help and she wasn't about to let him down.

...

The evening was cool and fresh, it was the end of the summer and autumn was just around the corner. Sophie had been sat in the bar quietly nursing a bottle of lager, while watching Mike play pool, laughing lightly as he missed a sitter of a shot which bounced against the back of the pocket ricocheting back out scattering the remaining ball's across the green felted table.

'Hiya' Tina said shimmying down onto the stool next to the brunette, nudging her with her shoulder as she did so.

'Hi Teen' Sophie replied nodding and smiling her acknowledgement.

Sophie had met Tina at the Uni's LBGT society one Tuesday evening, laughing at her outrageous sense of humour and witty turn of phrase. They'd hit it off immediately becoming firm friends, and it was at one of Tina's legendary 'End of summer' parties that Sophie and Vicky had met.

And when Vicky died, Tina saw that a little bit of Sophie died too. She grieved with her, held her up at the funeral and calmed her down at the wake. But over the following weeks Sophie pushed her away like she had everyone else, hurting her with acerbic words said in haste and anger and more often than not in alcohol, until eventually she wouldn't speak to Tina at all, wouldn't open the door or return her calls. And it had been Tina who'd contacted Mike knowing that if anyone could get through to Sophie it would be him.

'Is he winning or losing' Tina asked lifting the beer bottle she'd been carrying to her lips as she took a gulp.

'Losing' Sophie replied with a chuckle.

'How long before he kicks off' Tina asked fishing her phone out of her handbag checking the text she'd just received.

'Any minute now' was the reply just as Mike threw the pool cue across the table pulling out a £10 note from his pocket thrusting it at his opponent with a grunt.

'Fucking cheat' Mike growled out disgruntled flopping down on the remaining stool at the table.

Sophie and Tina looked at each other amused as there each cocked an eyebrow at the statement.

'How many times have I told you, you shouldn't bet against him Mike, he semi professional for Christ's sake' Sophie laughed out as she took a long swig of cold beer.

'Semi professional my arse, he's shit' Mike muttered angrily.

'Yeah but he can beat you though' Tina laughed joining in with the teasing, only to get angry grimace in return.

'So' Sophie quipped smiling wide eyed as Tina's laughter began to wane 'when are we going to meet this mysterious girlfriend then'

Mike's features visibly softened as a shy smile crossed his lips.

'Later' he replied lifting his eye's to meet the bemused gaze of his flatmate and her friend.

'She's meeting me here in a bit' he continued as Sophie pursed her lips letting out a loud animated 'ooooo' whilst playfully punching his arm lightly.

'Can't wait to meet her' Tina piped up, 'see how long it takes me to steal her away from you', she semi joked teasingly poking out her tongue at the stern features of the rugged man sat opposite her.

'I'm warning you' Mike started to growl leaning forward pointing his index finger menacingly at the grinning features of the dark complexioned woman sat opposite him.

'Oh pack it in the pair of you' Sophie spat out swatting Mike's manly hand down.

'She's only joking, she wouldn't' the brunette continued as Mike adjusted his position on the stool huffing.

'Right' she continued happy that the tension between her two friends had been broken 'who's for another' she continued as she stool making her way over to the bar.

'Oh come on mate, you know I was only joking' Tina said after a few minutes of the silent treatment form the dirty blonde headed man sat scowling down at the beer mat on the table top.

'Mate' she continued as she shuffled her stool around the small table throwing her arm around the rugged man's neck pulling his head towards her as she dotted kisses into his rapidly receding hairline, pinching his cheek with her free hand at the same time.

'Alright, alright' Mike laughed out lapping up the attention.

Sophie smiled as she witnessed the jokey interaction between her two best friends, she'd be lost without them, she'd put them through so much and still they were there for her. She only hoped that if either of them ever needed her in the way she needed them after that fateful night, she'd be up to the job and be able to support and comfort them the way she had been. That's why she hadn't hesitated when Mike asked about his sister, how could she refuse, how could she turn her away, when Mike was so obviously worried about her. She knew that her agreeing to her moving in would create havoc, turn their idyllic peaceful lives upside down, but what else could she do, she knew this would only scratch the surface of the debt she owed the big man and she was more than happy to oblige.

'So Sophie tells me your sister's moving in with you' Tina said taking the bottles of beer out of Sophie's hands and placing them on the table top.

'Yeah it'll just be for a while; she's on the housing associations waiting list, so hopefully she'll have her own place soon'. He replied lifting the fresh beer bottle to his lips.

'How far gone is she' Sophie interjected settling down onto the stool.

'10 weeks I think' Mike replied 'so she should have her own place easily by the time the babies due' he continued.

'Where's the Dad' Tina questioned

'That little shit' Mike spat out 'she hasn't seen him since she told him' he replied grunting his disgust.

'He told her not to worry everything would be fine, and then she hasn't seen hide nor hair of him since, one of his friends told her that he's gone on holiday with his new girlfriend'.

'Twat' Tina spat out

'Yeah I know' Mike replied 'near damn broke her heart, and then on top of all that, my shit of a Father tried to force her to go to a clinic'. He continued in quiet exasperated tones.

'Bastard' Sophie interjected shaking her head and she huffed out a disbelieving breath.

'You know she's had it so hard all her life' Mike continued placing his bottle back on the cardboard beer mat as his gaze concentrated on the label he was picking at.

'She's had to live on her own with that brute since I left for Uni, and I know he hit her, she wouldn't say anything, but I just knew. Every time I went home she'd have some sort of bruise on her and she'd tell me she got it playing hockey, or she'd slipped and banged herself, but I just knew it was him', he continued as Sophie reached across covering his hand with her own rubbing reassuringly.

Looking up he gave Sophie a sad smile.

'I just want to be there for her this time' He whispered out sadly 'I've never been able to help her before, but I'm damned if I'll let her down this time' he continued in a determined tone.

'Don't worry' Sophie replied as she continued to rub his hand 'You couldn't let her down, you're too good of a brother to do that'.

Mike smiled acknowledging the supportive words of his friend.

'Okay, my round I think' Mike said brightly after a few minutes silence.

'Do you know what you're letting yourself in for' Tina whispered out as Mike got out of earshot.

'What can I do Teen' Sophie sighed out 'He need's my help, I won't turn my back on him, not now' she continued getting a resigned smile and a nod in return.

'And anyway like he said she'll have her own place by the time the babies due, and let's be honest even if she hasn't it's not like the baby will keep me up at night is it' she huffed out referring to her endless sleepless nights.

'Is that not getting any better babe' Tina enquired throwing Sophie a sympathetic look.

'Nah' the brunette replied shaking her head.

'What about those pills the Doctor gave you' Tina enquired

'They just make me drowsy all day Teen, no good at all' Sophie replied taking a swig from the beer bottle.

Tina braced herself knowing the reaction she was about to get.

'Look babe, I know you said you did want to do it, but don't you think it's about time you thought about counselling' she said leaning forward getting the young brunettes attention.

'No' Sophie growled out taking another gulp of the cool liquid.

'It might help, let you get things off your chest'

'No' Sophie shouted snapping her eye's to meet the brown orbs staring at her, cutting off Tina mid sentence 'The last thing I want to do Tina, the very last thing I want to do is bring it all up again, live through all that again,... I can't' the distraught brunette said her voice quietening to an emotional whimper.

'Okay' Tina relented knowing that Sophie still wasn't at the stage where she could talk about Vicky and what had happened.

The table went quiet once more as both women took stock of what had just been said between them. Looking up Tina noticed Mike beckoning to some-one at the doorway to come to him, scanning her eyes around the horde of people she noticed some-one wave back at him.

'Oh my God' she spat out nudging Sophie and indicating with her head in the direction of the bar.

'That must be the girlfriend' she continued as Sophie craned her neck trying to get a better view.

Both women looked at each other wide-eyed in shock when the woman he'd been waving to, flung herself into his waiting arms and was lifted off the ground and swung around before being hugged tightly by the usually emotionally impassive man.

'Shit' Tina gasped out 'She is gorgeous'

Sophie sat wide eyed as she watched the spectacle unfold. Tina was right she was stunning, not just attractive but strikingly so. Sophie was struck by how beautiful this woman was, she had a smile that lit up the room, and a presence about her that made every head turn in the bar when she walked in. She wasn't anything like Sophie had expected, she didn't know what she was expecting but that goddess certainly wasn't it. Both women watched open mouthed as Mike handed the woman what looked like a vodka and orange and beckoned towards the table the women were sat at.

'Close your mouth Soph' Tina whispered nudging her 'You're drooling'

Quickly Sophie snapped her jaw shut as she dragged her fingers around her mouth, just double checking that Tina wasn't right and she didn't have drool running down her chin.

'Shrrup' she retorted quickly turning in her seat as Mike and his companion got closer.

'Hey' he wheezed out plonking the 3 beer bottles on the table top.

'Tina, Sophie, I'd like to introduce you to some-one that's very special to me' He beamed.

'This is Sian, my sister'.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

'Tina, Sophie, I'd like to introduce you to some-one that's very special to me' He beamed.

'This is Sian, my sister'.

...

'And this is your room' Mike announced proudly as he held the bedroom door open for his sister to peruse her new domain.

Smiling the blonde haired girl strolled into the small room, running her slender finger tips over the top of the chest of drawers, she looked around taking in the sight of the single bed pushed against one wall and the small wardrobe neatly tucked into the corner of the room.

'I'm sorry it's not much, but it's a bed and it's warm and there's somewhere to hang your clothes' he sighed out 'and we can get you some things to brighten it up, I can even redecorate for you if you want' Mike continued to enthuse watching his sister as she danced her eye's around the room.

Placing the palm of her hand over her stomach she circled it affectionately,

'This is going to do just fine, isn't it little one' she whispered to herself before turning on her heels and beaming a huge toothy smile at her waiting brother.

'Thank you so much' she said wrapping her arms around the burly man's waist as she nestled the side of her face into his manly chest getting a hug and a chuckle in return.

'It's not me you should be thanking' he replied rocking his sister affectionately from side to side.

Sophie could hear the mumbled interaction between the siblings from her where she was sat at the kitchen table caressing a tall glass of orange juice, she lifted it to her mouth as she took a long slow sip, letting her mind slip back to a time before Vicky, a time before the crash, and to a time when things were simple and easy. She thought about her own relationship with her sister, and how little they had in common, but then again perhaps that was the reason they got on so well. Smiling Sophie reminisced about how well Rosie had taken her announcement of her sexuality, chuckling to herself as she remembered the look of utter shock followed by her older sister's favourite words ever

'OMG babes, that's just totes amazing'

She missed Rosie, she missed how she would say things without thinking, she missed the fact that Rosie didn't seem to have one iota of tact in her whole body, making Sophie convulse into laughter at the latest inappropriate thing she'd said or did and she also missed the softer side to Rosie, the caring (in her own way) side, the supportive side. She missed how her sister used to fuss around her, trying her best to 'girly' her up for dates, trying to get her to wear the most outrageous items of clothing insisting that the tarty gear she had picked out for the more reserved Webster sister looked 'amazeballs' on her, before Sophie would inevitably grunt her disapproval and change into something more 'appropriate'. And Sophie just missed having her sister there, just some-one to lean on, and not have to talk to, some-one who didn't push her to 'open' up and 'talk about things'. Rosie was so good like that, knowing Sophie would talk when she was ready and not before, and Sophie loved her for it.

'Ahem' the cough from the doorway abruptly brought Sophie out of her daydream

'Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt' Sian said shyly as she rocked back on her heels with her hands tucked into her jeans back pockets.

'No you didn't' Sophie replied smiling as she beckoned the blonde girl to sit at the table with her.

'Want some juice' she offered turning in her seat as she stood up picking up a clean glass from the draining board.

'Yes... please' Sian replied as Sophie turned back towards her smiling with the glass in her hand.

'Um Mike's gone to meet Amy' the blonde haired girl announced as she pulled the chair away from the table to sit down. Sophie nodded her understanding as she poured the liquid into the glass, spilling a little as her hand shook.

'Whoa' Sian laughed out as she reached across steadying Sophie's hand with her own, making the brunette catch her breath slightly at the tingling sensation the small gesture made her feel.

_'Jesus, what's happening to me'_ the brunette thought as a tinge of a blush started to creep its way up her neck and into her cheeks. The attraction she felt towards the blonde was undeniable, and it scared her, it frightened her to death. The last time she'd felt like this was the night she'd met Vicky, the tightness in the chest, the dry mouth and the inability to string more than two words together in a coherent sentence, it felt so familiar, and with that familiarity came the feeling of guilt. Straightening her demeanour Sophie coughed lightly, as she made herself remember who this young woman was.

'That's fine... thanks' Sian said stopping the brunette from overfilling her glass.

Sophie smiled as she lowered the carton.

'Um I just wanted to say thanks' Sian said in an attempt to break the awkward silence that had developed between the pair over the last few minutes.

'It's really good of you to let me stay' she continued as Sophie shrugged and shook her head.

'No it's fine, really' Sophie replied curtly standing and placing her glass in the sink.

'Mike was worried about you, so it seemed a good compromise, anyway it's not for long is it' the brunette continued tersely as she washed her glass, throwing Sian slightly with her abrupt demeanour.

'Um no' the young blonde replied a little shaken by her brother's best friend brusque manner.

'Right well make yourself at home then' Sophie continued as she spun to see the slightly stunned expression on the blondes face. '_God she's stunning isn't she' _she thought just as Vicky's face flashed into her memory and a wave of guilt enveloped her once again.

'There's food in the fridge or pizza in the freezer if you're hungry' Sophie announced as she pushed herself away from the sink unit. 'Just help yourself, but just make sure to clean up after' she continued as Sian nodded.

'okay then I'll leave you to it, I'm tired I'm going to bed' Sophie announced as she briskly strode out of the kitchen taking the half full whiskey bottle and glass out of the sideboard in the living room as she passed.

'Um okay, night then' Sian replied getting no response as she watched perplexed as Sophie walked away from her.

'_Shit, she really doesn't like me'_ the young blonde thought as she exhaled a long breath. _'I need to get out of here as soon as possible'._

Sophie stood looking out of her bedroom window bottle of whiskey in one hand and a half full glass in the other, sipping silently as she stared out into the moonlit night listening to the soft music playing quietly on her ipod, thinking of the blonde less than 40 feet away from her. Why the hell was she having this effect on her, she couldn't think straight around her, her mind got muddled and her senses went awry.

'Shit' she spat out to herself taking another large swallow of the whiskey grimacing at the burning sensation in her throat, she tried to force herself to think of something else, something other than the beautiful, straight, pregnant sister of her best friend sat in her kitchen. Inevitably the only thing that came to mind was 'Vicky', Sophie's mind wandered to how things would have been between them if the accident had never happened. Would they have kids by now?, it was something they'd discussed at length and both wanted, but agreeing that they would only consider it once they were more financially secure.

'_Why did we have to wait'_ Sophie cursed herself _'why the hell did we have to wait?_'

_'If we'd have had kids, at least I'd still have a little piece of her with me'_ she thought as tears pricked her eyes. Sniffing loudly she filled the glass up again taking another large gulp.

Sian wandered around the flat, steadily getting her bearings, she found the bathroom, and she obviously knew where her bedroom was. Now she was casually looking around the living room, looking at the mementos and photos accumulated there. Smiling to herself she lifted a silver framed photo of Mike and Sophie both pulling faces at the camera laughing, noticing as a piece of paper floated down from the back of the frame, picking it up she noticed it was cutting from a newspaper. Placing the frame back on the shelf she unfolded the piece of paper and began to read. It was an obituary for a 'Victoria Helen Millington' aged 23 tragically killed in a car accident. Sian's breath hitched as she read on, how many siblings she left, her grieving parents and loving Grand Parents, her friends and lastly her devoted girlfriend 'Sophie Webster'.

'What are you doing',

Sian jumped at the words hissed out at her as she spun around to come face to face with the angry contorted features of her brother's obviously drunk friend.

'I'm sorry' she stuttered as she quickly re-folded the piece of paper, 'I didn't mean to pry, it just'

'But you did anyway' Sophie snapped not letting Sian finish her sentence as she snatched the piece of paper out of the younger woman's hand.

'I'm, I'm sorry' Sian repeated as she tucked her hands in her pockets backing away slightly.

Sophie raised her bloodshot eyes to meet the startled expression of her newly acquired flatmates.

'No' she sighed out realising that her aggressive stance had obviously frightened the blonde 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that, it's just ... it's private', Sophie continued her voice quietening to a whisper.

'I know, and I'm sorry' Sian replied seeing for the first time the vulnerability and pain behind the brunette's eyes.

'I really didn't mean any harm, I was just looking at the photo of you and Mike and it just sort of fell out of the back of the frame' she offered desperate to explain her actions to her new landlord.

Sophie sighed as she let her eyes drop from the panicking orbs staring at her, slumping down onto the sofa she unfolded the piece of paper as she ran her finger tips over the words. Sensing that her company wasn't desired Sian started to walk towards her room, when she heard a sound little more than a whisper,

'It's been 3 years' the words stopping the blonde in her tracks '3 years and I still can't talk about it'

Turning she saw a single tear roll down the brunette's cheek, as a wave of sympathy washed over her, it was so obvious that she was still in so much pain, so much turmoil. Standing still not making a sound Sian waited for Sophie to continue, but nothing came, all that happened was that the brunette glugged another mouthful of whiskey back before stretching her legs out across the sofa and closing her tear filled eyes. Sian stood and watched as slowly the empty glass fell from the brunette's hand rolling onto the floor. Walking silently across the room Sian reached across taking the throw that was on the back of the couch, laying it across the sleeping brunette, she bend down as she gently brushed some hair away from her face. She didn't know what it was about this woman that intrigued her, all she knew was that she wanted to protect her, look after and care for her, but somehow she knew this wasn't some-one that would accept her help that easily.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Walking silently across the room Sian reached across taking the throw that was on the back of the couch, laying it across the sleeping brunette, she bend down as she gently brushed some hair away from her face. She didn't know what it was about this woman that intrigued her, all she knew was that she wanted to protect her, look after and care for her, but somehow she knew this wasn't some-one that would accept her help that easily.

...

Sophie purposely avoided the young blonde over the next few days, embarrassed that she'd let her guard down and shown the weakness within her as she perceived it, to an almost total stranger. What was it about this woman that made her want to talk about Vicky so much, share her feelings and her pain, when for years it didn't matter who'd tried, family, friends, doctor's she'd kept it all hidden away, afraid for her own sanity if she ever let all that pain and heartache out.

Rubbing her face with her hands, Sophie let out a long sigh as she looked around the small book shop. She hadn't had a customer all morning, not a soul had passed through her door. What was she going to do, she knew she couldn't keep this up forever she'd be lucky if she could meet the bills at the end of the month never mind take a wage for herself. Maybe she should just cut her loses and close, at least then she'd be able to formulate a plan, not be in limbo like she was now. She hated the thought but what else could she do, if she carried on like this she'd be forced to close anyway.

'Cup of tea' she said to herself sighing as she stood and entered the small kitchenette area. No sooner had she filled the kettle when she heard the bell above door ring indicating that some-one had just entered.

'Won't be a sec' she shouted out as she hurriedly wiped her hands on the kitchen towel and walked briskly back into the shop.

'Hi' she said brightly as she spotted her first customer of the day crouching down running her fingers along the book spines situated on the shelf.

'Hey' came the reply making Sophie catch her breath. Stood there was the blonde she'd been trying to avoid for days, her hair tied up in a loose ponytail with wisp's dangling either side of the black rimmed glasses she was wearing, which only served to make her look even cuter if that was even possible Sophie noted.

'I've just been to the Uni to see if I can transfer there from my old place' Sian said brightly taking off the glasses and placing them in her bag.

Sophie smiled and nodded experiencing the familiar feeling of heat pricking her cheeks and the tightness in her chest.

'Mike said you had a book shop around here so I thought I'd pop in and say hi seeing as we really haven't seen much of each other the last few days' the blonde continued raising her head and greeting Sophie with the brightest smile she'd ever seen.

The brunette couldn't help but smile, there was something so affable, so easy-going about her best friend's sister's demeanour, it had been years since she felt so at ease and yet at the same time so fearful in some-one's presence.

Letting out an uncomfortable cough Sophie half turned in the direction of the kitchen pointing, 'I've just put the kettle on, would you like a cup of tea' she stuttered barely able to get the words out.

Sian let out a giggle as she nodded her head, 'that would be lovely, thank you' she replied.

Sophie hurriedly made her way back into the kitchen leaning her hands on the unit's in front of her she closed her eyes as she bowed her head taking deep breaths as she desperately tried to get her emotions under control. '_Jesus, why do I have to behave like such a complete fucking lunatic every time I see her' _she chastised herself.

Sian decided to have a wander around the shop, although she was taking a degree in marketing and media, she always had a love of literature and it had been such a difficult decision for her to make as to what to major in, but the jobs market as it was finally making that decision for her. Perusing the shelves she noted how cared for and looked after the books were from the biggest leather clad novels to the thinnest pamphlets, not a speck of dust or mark on any of them. Picking out one she recognised she ran her hand over the shiny gloss cover.

'The Great Gatsby' she heard coming from behind her as two cups were placed on the counter top.

'Yeah' Sian smiled

'Have you read it' Sophie asked with an inquisitive arch of her eyebrow as she brought the steaming cup to her lips.

'No, but I've always wanted to' the blonde replied 'The new film that's just come out look's great don't you think', she continued turning her gaze back to the glossy cover.

'Then go see the film' Sophie replied curtly, making the blonde snap her eye's to the coolness starting back at her.

'That's a strange thing to say, I was expecting the opposite from you' Sian replied walking over to the counter placing the book down.

Sophie sighed as she sat on the stool behind the counter, gesturing for Sian to join her on the adjoining chair as she slid her tea to her across the counter.

'Okay' she started 'I know that it's considered a classic, but myself I just found it confusing' Sian pulled the stool closer to the counter as she became engrossed in what her obviously learned friend had to say.

'Now don't get me wrong F. Scott Fitzgerald is a wonderful writer, but I just didn't like this book, it was too embellished, too detailed, the tiniest aspects described in the most overbearing, rambling way that it just detracted and at the same time distracted you from the story' she said turning on the stool to face the by now enthralled young woman sat next to her.

'This for example' she continued opening the book and picking out a paragraph as Sian snuggled closer to her to read what the brunette was pointing to.

'_Out of the corner of his eye Gatsby saw that the blocks of the sidewalks really formed a ladder and mounted to a secret place above the trees—he could climb to it, if he climbed alone, and once there he could suck on the pap of life, gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder'. _Sophie read from the book stunning Sian with her passion and enthusiasm for the subject.

'Have you any idea what that means' Sophie asked turning her head to meet the admiring gaze and affectionate smile of her companion.

'No' Sian murmured shaking her head slightly her eye's not faltering from the blueness staring back at her.

'No neither do I' Sophie replied her voice dropping to little more than a whisper, as once again her mind became foggy, and her mouth became dry, letting her eye's flicker from the cool blue orbs to the luscious pink lips of the blonde and back again she felt herself begin to lean forwards, pulled in by the inviting semi opened mouth. Then immediately Vicky's face flashed into Sophie's mind's eye instantly making her recoil, jolting backwards she let out an uneasy cough.

'Tender is the Night' is a much better choice if you want to read Fitzgerald she said tersely standing as she gathered up her cup and walked into the kitchen.

'_What the hell just happened then', _Sian thought to herself rubbing her forehead as she sat wide-eyed in confusion at just almost letting another girl kiss her.

'_Shit I did, didn't I, I nearly... fuck'_ she continued to question herself as her hand dropped to cover her mouth as by reflex she glanced her eyes towards the open kitchen door where she could hear the brunette clatter about.

All these feelings raging around inside her were so confusing for the young blonde, she'd never felt anything like this before for another woman, well that's not strictly true, she did have that crush on Miss Thomas in year 10, but that was just an admiration thing ... wasn't it?

'_Shit' _she scolded herself. She didn't know what these feelings were but what she did know was that when she was with this sad, lost, tortured soul she forgot all about the burning anger and crushing loneliness she'd felt since the day Ryan had abandoned her and their unborn child.

'_That's it' _she thought to herself as sudden realisation dawned on her for the reason for all these alien feelings,

'_That's exactly it' _her mind squealed triumphantly as it all started to become clear to her. Reaching down she covered her ever slightly expanded abdomen with the palms of her hands, _'hormones,' _she thought to herself nodding_ 'that's all it is ... pregnancy hormones'. _

'So have they agreed to let you transfer over' the words snapping Sian out of her trance as she glanced up at the brunette who was wiping her hands on a tea towel in the kitchen doorway.

'Sorry' Sian replied confused at the question.

'The Uni' Sophie replied throwing the tea towel in the direction on the draining board. 'Are they gonna let you transfer'.

'Oh, yeah, yeah' Sian replied nodding letting a relieved giggle leave her lips. 'They've just got to get my notes and that over from my last Uni and then I can start'.

'Great' Sophie replied with a grin, 'so when's that'

'Probably in about 3 weeks' Sian responded.

'So what is it you're doing' the brunette asked as she busied herself tidying a stack of magazines on a table in the centre of the shop.

'Marketing and Media' Sian replied please that Sophie seemed to be taking an interest in what she was doing.

'Maybe I should have taken something like that' the brunette quipped referring to the lack of customers 'I could do with some ideas of how to drum up business' she said absentmindedly as she continued to tidy the unruly stack of student magazines.

'Well why don't I help you' Sian offered throwing the brunette a grin and raised eyebrows,

'I mean I'm not going to be doing anything for the next couple of weeks at least, AND it'll be good on my C.V.' she enthused making Sophie grin at her.

'If you're sure' the brunette replied letting out a small laugh, 'I'd really appreciate the help'.

'Okay' Sian smiled as she reached into her bag taking out a notebook, and putting on her reading glasses.

'Right, so do you have a web site' she asked as she looked up and cocked her head at the brunette studying her.

'Nope' Sophie replied getting a shocked expression and an exasperated gasp in return.

'Then that's the first thing we need to do' the blonde replied as she scribbled in her note book.

'But that'll be expensive won't it, ... and' Sophie trailed off as she lowered her eye's to the floor.

Sensing what the brunette meant, Sian stood and made her way around the counter.

'Not necessarily' she replied smiling 'I can construct a website for you, all you'll have to pay for is the domain name and some-one to host it for you and Bob's you uncle or Fanny's you aunt whatever way you wanna look at it' she laughed, raising a giggle from the brunette at the same time, 'We can even set it up as an e-commerce site, like an on-line shop' she clarified 'Orders can be placed on-line and we can set it up to receive payments electronically' she ended with a flourish.

'You'd do that for me' Sophie replied getting a shrug and a shy smile in return.

'Course' Sian squeaked out shyly as she felt her cheeks burn under the glare of the brunette opposite her.

'It's the least I can do, after all you've done for me' she whispered catching Sophie's eye once more, as they both started to close the distance between them, so engrossed were they that neither noticed the sound of the door bell as some-one entered.

'Ahem' the cough, making the women snap their heads in the direction the sound had come from.

'Hi Sophie' came the dulcet tones that the brunette recognised.

Hi Emma' she sighed.


	5. Chapter 5

'It's the least I can do, after all you've done for me' she whispered catching Sophie's eye once more, as they both started to close the distance between them, so engrossed were they that neither noticed the sound of the door bell as some-one entered.

'Ahem' the cough making the women snap their heads in the direction the sound had come from.

'Hi Sophie' came the dulcet tones that the brunette recognised.

Hi Emma' she sighed.

...

Emma sat across from Sophie noticing that the top 3 buttons on her blouse were undone revealing just a hint of the smooth tanned skin beneath, she couldn't help but let her gaze linger there with desire for a second before quickly averting her eyes away, aware that her staring would soon become obvious.

Sophie had always had this effect on her, this feeling of passion and want, just pure physical attraction that left her breathless every time. Adjusting her position on the stool at the high table they'd sat at she let out a little cough as she desperately tried to calm her raging libido.

'So how have you been' Emma asked as she swirled the cocktail stick around the liquid in her tall glass.

'Yeah, good' Sophie replied as she lifted her glass to her lips taking a sip not letting her eye's meet the enquiring gaze of her companion. She'd agreed to meet Emma for a drink just to get rid of her that afternoon. Deep down she knew it was wrong, giving her false hope, sending out the wrong message, but she just didn't have the strength for a fight right now and meeting up was better than a full scale slanging match in front of Sian, who'd quickly packed up her things and made her excuses before leaving the pair in an uncomfortable silence.

'So what was Sian doing in the shop' Emma asked cocking an eyebrow as she took a sip.

Sophie slowly let her head turn in Emma's direction, baffled at how Emma knew her blonde companion's name until she realised that Emma was a family friend of the Power's.

Leaning back slightly Sophie studied the curious expression on Emma's face.

'She's moved in with me and Mike' she answered getting a look of shock in return.

'And she's agreed to help me market the shop, you know try and get some more customers' she continued smiling to herself as she thought back to the conversation between her and her blonde flatmate earlier that day.

'Oh' Emma reply clearly surprised at the snippet of information she'd just received. What she'd witnessed that afternoon between the pair had unnerved her, the chemistry was obvious between them, she'd seen a look in Sophie's eye's she'd never witnessed before, a look of such intensity it shook her to the core, knowing that in all their time together the brunette had never once looked at her in that way.

'She's pregnant you know' Emma continued desperate to instil just an inkling of doubt in the brunette's brain.

'I know' Sophie replied without a hint of surprise in her voice, making Emma furrow her brow in confusion.

'You know' she replied huffing out an exasperated breath 'and you still let her move in'

Sophie sighed out as she placed her glass back on the drinks mat. Slowly raising her eye's to meet her ex's she sucked on her teeth in annoyance before leaning forward on her forearms, looking Emma straight in the eye.

'It really isn't anyone's business but mine, Mike's and Sian's... is it' the brunette growled out. She didn't know why but her natural reaction was to defend the blonde, protect her.

'No of course not' Sophie's companion stuttered out desperately trying to backtrack, before raising her hand to a passing waiter indicating for more drinks.

'No' Sophie barked as she threw back the remnants left in her glass before placing it back down on the table top, 'don't get one for me, I'm off'.

'Just one more eh' Emma replied placing her hand on top of the brunette's 'for old time's sake'.

...

Sian had left the shop that afternoon confused and frustrated. Emma's interruption had made the blonde realise just how close her and Sophie were to one another physically, just inches apart when Emma announced her arrival. Flustered Sian sidestepped the brunette and quickly gathering up her things making her excuses she left just glancing back once to find the brunette's eyes still on her.

Sitting with her back against the bed headboard in the sanctity of her bedroom, the blonde let her head loll backwards leaning it against the wall behind her, closing her eye's she raked her fingers through her hair and let out a heavy breath. Why was she so drawn to this woman, this damaged, broken soul. Was that all it was, just empathy and sympathy she was feeling because it felt like so much more. Everytime she thought about the brunette, her breath quickened and her heart rate increased, her mind wandered to that afternoon when they were so close the blonde could literally feel Sophie's breath on her lips, hypnotised by her blue orbs, that were full of want and zeal before the brunette abruptly jolted backwards startling the blonde back to reality, the near kiss unnerving her more than the closeness. Would she have let her kiss her? Would she have taken that step and kissed her back. The answer was yes she would have, she knew she would have, breathing out heavily Sian picked up her phone as she quickly found the housing associations number. She needed to get out of there before things got out of hand.

...

Sitting back down, Sophie nodded as her companion let a bright smile leave her lips. Emma was the only child of wealthy parents, who indulged, and spoilt her. She worked at one of the families luxurious car showrooms and was paid much more than her rank or experience should have allowed. She was used to getting her own way, getting what she wanted, and what she wanted was Sophie.

...

'The waiting list is 26 weeks I'm afraid' the advisor said on the other end on line.

'That's 6 months' Sian cried out 'The baby will be due by then' she continued pleadingly.

'Are you homeless, Miss Power's' came the curt reply

'Well no, not exactly, but I'm intruding on my brother and his flatmate' she answered.

'Do you have a bed to sleep in' ...'Yes' Sian replied hesitantly

'Is the premises heated and hot water available'

'Yes' the blonde replied again.

'Then I'm afraid you are not classed as in urgent need'

'But' Sian tried to interject

'If you feel that you are in desperate need Miss Power's all we would be able to offer you at this time is emergency bedsit accommodation, would you like me to refer you to that department'.

Sian knew that if she was put into bedsit accommodation she wouldn't be offered anything else for month's maybe even years. She was in a quandary, what should she do. Maybe all this with Sophie was just her overactive imagination, maybe all this confusion was what she'd first thought '_hormones'. _Breathing out Sian closed her eyes as she adjusted her grip in the phone.

'Could I think about it' she replied

'Of course Miss Power's but bedsits are allocated on Friday's, if you change your mind we would need to know by then'

'Okay' the blonde replied before bidding the adviser farewell and hanging up.

_'I Just need to calm down' _she thought to herself as she opened up her laptop making a start on Sophie's shop webpage.

...

Sophie was on her fifth drink and already feeling tipsy and light-headed. Emma had ensured a constant flow of alcohol during the afternoon, watching as Sophie slowly became more and more drunk.

'I think I should go' Sophie slurred out stumbling off her stool as she tried to stand.

'No wait' Emma interjected as she stood steadying Sophie as she did so.

'You can't go home like this, come to my place it's only around the corner' she continued as she ducked her head trying to catch the brunette's drunken gaze.

'Come on eh, I'll make you some coffee, sober you up a bit'

'Don't like coffee' Sophie slurred out raising a giggle from Emma who had by now positioned Sophie's arm over her shoulder as she circled the brunette's waist with her own.

'I know' Emma giggled out, 'but you could still sober up a bit'.

Emma steadied Sophie as they made their way along the street, Sophie's balance precarious as Emma struggled with her.

'You can't hold me up' Sophie slurred 'Look how small you are' she continued as she stumbled along.

'Hey small things come in good packages I'll have you know' Emma giggled out as Sophie tightened her grip on the smaller woman's shoulder.

Once inside the loft apartment Emma let Sophie drop onto the sprawling couch. Looking up with glassy eye's, Emma wondered what Sophie was thinking about in her drunken state. Sitting next to her she looked deeply into her light blue eyes. She smiled when Sophie reached up and stroked her cheek.

'I've missed you' Emma whispered as she leaned forward kissing the brunette's lips lightly. Feeling Sophie respond, Emma persevered pressing her lips against her once more she felt Sophie's lips part allowing Emma's tongue passage, to caress and probe her own.

Moving her hand to Sophie's stomach Emma could feel the taught muscles beneath her blouse tighten as a shiver cascaded throughout her body. Adjusting her body she sat astride the brunette running her fingers through Sophie's hair she devoured her lips with her own. Hips bucked to meet one another as the intensity between them grew. Sophie swiftly yanked Emma's t-shirt off her body throwing it across the room as she nestled her face between her ample breast's taking in the subtle softly scented aroma, which aroused her even more. Pushing them both off the couch onto the floor Sophie quickly discarded her blouse and jeans as she snaked her way down the lithe body beneath her. The sex grew volatile between them, fast and hard. Sophie's arms were around Emma's waist in a vice like grip as her face moved between her legs, keeping her mouth connected to her as she sucked and caressed with her tongue before anchoring it deep inside her, eliciting a loud groan and violent jolt of the hips as Sophie pushed Emma to an orgasmic rush.

They were sweaty by the time they stopped, not drunk anymore, Sophie allowed Emma to cradle her as their breathing got back to normal.

Feeling Emma stroke her hair gently, Sophie closed her eyes as wave of regret washed over her.

'Stay the night with me ... please' Sophie heard snapping her eyes open at the almost pleading tone

Sophie swallowed hard as she slowly nodded.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5**

Feeling Emma stroke her hair gently, Sophie closed her eyes as wave of regret washed over her.

'Stay the night with me ... please' Sophie heard snapping her eyes open at the almost pleading tone

Sophie swallowed hard as she slowly nodded.

...

Slowly Sophie opened her eyes, her head was muggy and throbbing and her throat dry, the bed she was in wasn't familiar but the naked brunette beside her was. Closing her eyes again Sophie let out a low groan as memories came flooding back of the hours they'd spent earlier that night, exploring each other's bodies in a hot sweaty, drink fuelled haze. Lifting her aching head from the pillow she glanced at the bedside clock, seeing it was just before 5, gently lifting herself up so not to wake the sleeping girl next to her, placing her feet on the warm carpet, she glanced back as Emma stirred at the shift in weight on the mattress.

'Where you going baby' came the sleepy gentle tones from the shifting brunette as she raised herself onto her elbow, rubbing her tired eyes.

Sophie sighed as she let her eyes rest on the almost pleading look she was getting. Leaning forward she rested her lips lightly on the young brunette's forehead.

'I have to go' she whispered leaving a kiss there as she jumped back away from the bed hurriedly replacing her underwear, as her companion looked on.

'Why' Emma asked replacing her head on the pillow as she watched.

Still dressing Sophie knew she daren't look back.

'I have to open the shop in a couple of hours I need a shower and a change of clothes' she replied as brightly as she could muster as her mind whirred for an excuse to leave.

'I will see you later though ... right' Emma replied in a small voice. Closing her eyes, Sophie plastered a fake smile on her lips as she slowly turned to face the worried features of her ex...

'Course' she replied bending down placing a chaste kiss on the younger woman's lips.

'I'll call you' the older brunette continued getting a relieved smile in return.

Closing the front door behind her Sophie let her body rest against it as she let out a prolonged laboured breath.

'Shit, what have I done' she chastised herself, as she let her head loll backwards against the door.

...

Sian lay awake in her bed watching as shadows cast by passing car's headlights crept across her bedroom ceiling. She was all alone in the flat Mike had called to say he was staying at Amy's, and Sophie hadn't returned at all. She lay there turning over and over in her mind that last look the brunette had given her as she walked away from her that afternoon, it was a look that took her breath, leaving her baffled and confused. But that wasn't what was keeping her awake it was the heavy ache deep in the pit of her stomach that she felt every time the image of Sophie and Emma together entered her head.

Hearing the front door quietly open Sian propped herself up in her bed as she watched a slither of light emanate through the bottom of her door. Throwing back the bedclothes she wrapped her robe around herself as she gingerly opened the bedroom door, following the sound of the kettle being filled, she entered the kitchen as she stood and watched as Sophie leaned against the kitchen sink as she stared out of the window into nothingness.

'You're late' Sophie heard startling her as she swiftly turned in the direction the sound had come from.

The brunette couldn't help but hesitate as she noticed the natural beauty of the blonde stood there with her hands shoved deeply into her robe pockets.

'Yeah' she stuttered as she turned and reached for a cup out of the cupboard.

'I had a few drinks with a friend and crashed at their place' she continued as she poured boiling water into the mug.

'Want one' she asked turning back to the blonde who couldn't help but notice the fresh lovebite on the brunette's neck.

Shaking her head, Sian gave a shy smile as she turned to return to her room.

'Sian' she heard, the sound so soft, so muted it stopped her in her tracks.

'Can I ask you a question?'

Swallowing hard Sian turned nodding her head at the dark haired woman

'I slept with Emma tonight' Sophie stated matter of factly looking the blonde dead in the eye.

'Okay' Sian replied feeling heat tinge her cheeks as she dipped her head diverting her gaze from the penetrating look the brunette was giving her.

'It just feels so wrong' Sophie continued as she pulled a chair from the table and sat down, beckoning for Sian to join. 'It feels like I'm forgetting her'.

'Vicki' Sian asked wanting to clarify as Sophie nodded

Hesitating not wanting to say the wrong thing, Sian shrugged as she smiled at the broken girl opposite her.

'I don't want to sound insensitive, but she's gone Soph' she said softly, noticing a quiver in the brunette's bottom lip.

'And from what I've been told, she wouldn't of wanted you to put your life on hold like this' she continued hoping she wasn't going too far, speaking out of turn.

Silence surrounded them before it was broken by a small hardly audible voice.

'She was so beautiful you know' Sophie whispered eyes not leaving the floor, voice thick with emotion.

'We were so happy ... so happy' she trailed off as she glanced up at the warm responsive eyes looking back at her.

Sian nodded as she let Sophie continue knowing that this was the first time she'd spoken more than two words to her about Vicki or her past.

'When I got that phone call that night' she continued eyes staring off into the distance 'everything just crashed around me, my whole life just stopped, it's like I just fell into this big black hole that I just couldn't climb out of'

Sian remained silent as she listened to the hushed tones...

'I'd had it all planned' the brunette continued, brushing away a fallen tear as she sniffed into the back of her hand. 'I'd bought the ring, even booked the bloody restaurant' she continued letting out a spontaneous laugh as her eye's caught the blue orbs smiling back at her.

'I was going to propose that weekend... it was our anniversary you see' Sian nodded as she let Sophie continue realising that this was what she needed, just to talk, just to let go and tell some-one, and she was glad to just sit and listen.

'I went to see her in the morgue... she looked so beautiful, not a mark on her' Sian felt a lump catch in her throat as the emotion in the broken brunette's voice quivered out. Nodding she smiled encouraging the brunette to continue.

'We had so many plan's, were going to do so much together... holiday's, house, kids... she had it all planned' Sophie laughed out again wiping a fallen tear from her cheek.

'She was a planner... Vicki was... she liked to plan'

'Tell me about her' Sophie heard breaking her from the trance she was in... 'What was she like'

Sophie smiled as she thought back

'Can we go into the living room' she asked as she shifted uncomfortably on the kitchen table chair.

'My bum's getting numb sitting here' she giggled out.

Smiling Sian nodded as she stood.

Making themselves comfortable on the couch Sophie continued, she'd hadn't felt like this before, she'd made so much effort over the years to keep it all in, scared that if she spoke about Vicki that she just wouldn't be able to take the pain, the grief. But now she'd started she just couldn't seem to stop, every little emotion she'd bottled up came pouring out. And Sian just sat and listened, smiling at the humour and consoling at the grief, she knew Sophie needed to do this, she knew this is what everyone had been waiting for, for so long... because now, now she could start to heal.

And Sian was there when the final flood of emotion came spilling out of the sad, lonely figure as sob's started to emanate... and suddenly, spontaneously Sian reached across and pulled the crying girl into her arms cradling her, rocking her until the cries subsided and the shaking stopped, they sat in silence Sophie curled up in Sian's embrace for what seemed like hours. Until eventually the brunette uncurled herself, slowly sitting back Sophie shyly smiled as Sian delicately brushed some hair away from the tear filled face.

'Thank you' Sophie stuttered

'For what' Sian smiled 'I didn't do anything' she continued as her fingers traced down the brunette's cheek.

'You did so much, so much' Sophie whispered her eyes looking deep into light blueness looking so warmly back at her, as she reached up cupping the blondes hand to her cheek.

They were exhausted now drained, Sophie could see the tiredness in the blonde's eyes. Smiling she leaned forward as she pulled Sian into a hug, taking in her delicate scent, she closed her eyes at the closeness, and delicately placed a kiss on the blonde's cheek lingering there just a second, before pulling back and standing. The closeness she felt to this virtual stranger at that moment startled her, how could she feel such a connection with her, such a bond. Pulling back Sophie stood as Sian looked up at her.

'God look at the time' she laughed 'been talking hours' she continued as Sian smiled and nodded.

'You look tired'

'I'm okay' Sian replied suddenly feeling the effects of the emotion they'd been through the last 2 hours.

'Go to bed' Sophie smiled holding out her hands for the blonde to take as she helped her stand.

'You need your rest, now go' she winked pulling the blonde into a final embrace before quickly releasing her she stood back as she pushed her hands into her back pocket's ducking her head and looking at the ground self consciously.

'What about you' Sian asked concern evident in her voice, as she ducked her head trying to catch the brunette's eye.

Sophie smiled shyly as she shrugged 'not much of a sleeper' she replied 'but I suddenly feel so tired'

Sian nodded as she took the brunette's hand and guided them both into the brunette's room as she closed the door behind them.

Sophie looked on in shock as she watched Sian climb onto her bed and pat the mattress beside her.

'Come on' the blonde said 'let's get some sleep, we'll feel better after a bit of sleep'

Sophie smiled as she kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed, lying next to each other they fell into a restful sleep, a sleep that had evaded Sophie for 3 years.


	7. Chapter 7

Sian nodded as she took the brunette's hand and guided them both into the brunette's room as she closed the door behind them.

Sophie looked on in shock as she watched Sian climb onto her bed and pat the mattress beside her.

'Come on' the blonde said 'let's get some sleep, we'll feel better after a bit of sleep'

Sophie smiled as she kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed, lying next to each other they fell into a restful sleep, a sleep that had evaded Sophie for 3 years.

...

Sian woke 4 hours later to the sound of the radio playing accompanied by the smell of cooking bacon. Glancing over her shoulder at the emptiness in the bed beside her, she smiled to herself as she threw back the covers.

Entering the kitchen where all the sounds and smells were coming from, the blonde couldn't help but smile at the spectacle in front of her. Her brunette flatmate was dancing around the small confined space happily brandishing a spachelor as a mike as she sang loudly to the song that was playing in the background.

'Morning' Sian shouted over the din, making Sophie jump and turn as immediately her face grew red with embarrassment.

'Morning' she replied letting a cheesy grin cross her lips as Sian giggled.

'How are you feeling this morning' Sian asked as she moved over to the table pulling out the chair.

'Starving' replied the brunette grinning inanely as she started to dish up the full English she'd just cooked, passing a plate to her blonde flatmate.

Sophie had woken up that morning feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders, for the first time in she didn't know how long she'd slept like a baby, without a single flash of the nightmares that had kept her nights long and lonely the past 3 years. Looking across the table she smiled as she realised that the blonde sat there heartily eating down the breakfast she'd made her was the reason for this new found optimism.

The girl's breakfast was interrupted by the doorbell ringing swiftly followed by an incessant knocking.

Looking at each other wide eyed, Sophie hesitantly put down her cutlery as she stood and walked to the front door.

'Bloody hell Sophie, what the hell is going on' Sian heard recognising the tones as that of Sophie's best friend Tina.

'I called at the shop and it's closed... it's never closed, I tried calling... straight to answer phone, what was i supposed to think' Tina continued to rant as she forced her way past the brunette and stomped purposely through the flat into the kitchen, ignoring the blonde sat at the table.

'Whoa... slow down' Sophie replied as she caught up with her aggravated friend.

'What's happened, why isn't the shop open... what's going on Soph' Tina continued as her breathing started to slow slightly.

Sophie let out a light laugh as she moved around the table and pulled out a mug from the cupboard pouring a coffee and offering it to her friend.

'Nothing's going on and nothing's happened' Sophie replied with a smile.

Tina stood holding onto the coffee cup looking wide eyed at her friend.

'I just had a lie in' Sophie announced shrugging

Tina almost spat the contents in her mouth across the room at the statement as her astonished gaze darted between the brunette stood in front of her and the blonde sat at the table by now munching on a round of toast.

'You mean you actually slept' Tina replied with a deadpan look on her face.

Sophie smiled as Sian giggled.

'Yeah and really well too' the brunette winked lifting her plate from the table and putting it in the sink.

'And I think I'll go for a shower now, that's if it's alright with you' she continued mockingly at her nodding brunette friend. Winking at Sian, Sophie grinned as she flounced out of the room.

Tina sank down into one of the kitchen chairs as Sian watched amused at the shocked expression on the older girls face.

Tina leaned forward as she rested one elbow on the table bringing her fingers to her lips. Turning to her blonde companion she looked quizzically at her.

'What's happened Sian' she asked a shocked expression still evident.

Sian smiled as she rubbed her hands together over her plate to get rid of the breadcrumbs attached.

Shrugging she stood picking up the plate and walking around the table.

'She saw Emma last night' Sian replied

'Pfft' she heard Tina scoff as she turned to face her ' That wouldn't have made her sleep any better' she replied, noticing a glint in the young girls eye.

'Come on you, you know more than you're telling' Tina continued intensifying her gaze.

'Nothing much happened, we just had a chat, that's all' she replied arousing the brunette's curiosity even more.

'What about' Tina replied following the pregnant girl with her gaze.

'About Vicky' Sian replied as she turned around after placing her plate in the sink getting an almost choking reaction from the brunette sat at the table.

'Vicky' she replied in an exasperated tone. 'She never talks about Vicky' she continued looking expectantly at the young blonde as she returned to her seat.

'She did this morning' Sian replied as the shocked expression grew on the older girls face.

'She spoke to you, actually spoke to you about her'

Sian nodded

'Fuck me' Tina gasped out in obvious surprise. 'And was she okay, I mean was she upset or...'

'Yeah, yeah course she was upset' Sian replied 'and happy and wishful, but afterwards she was fine'

'You must be some sort of miracle worker' Tina laughed out 'we've been trying for years to get her to talk about what happened'

'I just listened' Sian shrugged as Tina looked at her with curiosity. What was it about this urchin that had enthralled Sophie enough that she would confide in her, tell her things she couldn't tell her closest friends. Smiling she nodded.

'About time somebody got through to her' she laughed out.

...

The weeks passed quickly as Sian's stomach grew, so did Sophie's profits largely due to the website Sian had designed and some strategic advertising on Google, in the local paper and posters in the student union lounge at the university, and Sian managing to get her on the approved suppliers list at 4 major schools in the area, Sophie paying her a commission for each new contract gained. Once again Sophie's interest in her business was reignited. She began reviewing new books with vigour and had even been asked by the local paper to submit a weekly review which once again proved to be a good advert for her business. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so alive, so confident.

She's continued the relationship with Emma, if only to try and stifle her increasing feelings towards the pregnant blonde. But still the chemistry between them was obvious to everyone around them, they just lit up as soon as the other walked into the room, and Emma recognised it more than most, and she didn't like it one little bit.

Winter was fast approaching, and with passing day Sian just got bigger and bigger, and was starting to struggle with university, she'd made a few friends there, but couldn't socialise as she would normally or join in there adventure days like go-carting, paintballing and zip wiring so as each week passed she felt more and more isolated, increasingly relying on her brother and his brunette best friend for the company she craved. Her feelings for the older brunette were not so confusing for her now she recognised them exactly for what they were... she was falling for her, she knew she was and was trying desperately not to. Trying desperately not to show her jealousy and uneasiness when Emma stayed, trying desperately not to allow her contempt for the raven haired girl taint every word she said to her everytime she visited and usually failing miserably.

Mike was increasingly spending more and more time with Amy and rarely stayed at the flat anymore, everyone knew what was coming, and one Friday evening it was made official.

'Soph' Mike said as he budged Sian up on the couch as Sophie was sat crossed legged on the floor checking through her e-mails on her laptop.

'Hmmm' she replied eye's not leaving the screen.

'Well' Mike started as he looked to his sister for reassurance getting and encouraging smile in return.

'What' Sophie replied as she eventually looked up from the laptop to see a nervous look on her best friends face.

'Well' he repeated as she scratched his neck nervously.

'Oh come on Mike spit it out' Sophie replied good naturedly.

'It's just, well Amy has asked me to move in with her' Mike said as embarrassment tinged his cheeks.

Sophie sat upright as she adjusted her position slightly on the floor.

'Oh right' she replied tilting her head, 'and...' she said waiting for the burly man to continue

'And, I said yes' Mike replied looking nervously at his friend.

'About time' Sophie replied smiling immediately putting her friend at ease.

'You sure, you're okay with this I mean, I can wait until you rent my room out' he replied with relief evident in his voice.

Laughing Sophie sat upright, 'You're alright' she replied slapping his leg playfully, 'the business has really picked up, with m'ladys help here' she continued nodding in the blonds direction getting a smile in return which just completely melted her heart.

'So I think I'll manage and anyway, Sian could do with a bigger room she'll just move into yours' she continued noticing a look passed between the siblings.

'What' she asked quizzically.

'It's just that Amy said Sian could move in too' Mike replied getting a shocked expression from the brunette in return.

'Right' Sophie replied as her eyes darted quickly to the blueness of the blondes staring back at her.

'And do you want to go' she asked as her heart rate quickened, hoping against hope that the returning words would be no.

Shrugging Sian cast her eyes downwards as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

'I don't want to impose on you anymore' but before she could finish Sophie interjected with a quick 'You're not' making the blonde raise her head at the suddenness of the words.

'I mean' Sophie continued as she leaned forwards placing her elbows on her crossed knees.

'You wouldn't be imposing at all... not at all'.

Sian smiled as she turned her gaze to her brother who was sat beside her. Shrugging he smiled 'Up to you kiddo' he said, rubbing her knee affectionately.

Smiling Sian dived across the seat as she hugged her brother affectionately.

'Then I'll stay here, if that's okay with Sophie' she continued turning in the brunette's direction.

Smiling Sophie nodded, 'absolutely fine with me' she replied getting a wide toothy grin in return.


	8. Chapter 8

'Then I'll stay here, if that's okay with Sophie' she continued turning in the brunette's direction.

Smiling Sophie nodded, 'absolutely fine with me' she replied getting a wide toothy grin in return.

...

The women settled into an easy routine together, Sophie helping Sian move her things into the larger bedroom, moving the furniture as she required and rolling her eyes when inevitably she wanted it moved back again, smiling at the blonde's enthusiasm and excitement, and gaining a blush when she teased her about it.

And with every passing minute the bond between them grew unnerving the young blonde. Sian was finding it increasingly difficult to keep up the facade' of nonchalance around the brunette, she felt her heart quicken and her temperature sore every time Sophie got close, goosebumps erupting on her skin at the slightest touch no matter how innocent and her breath caught in her throat at the site of the brunette all wet and taught as she left the bathroom each morning with only a towel wrapped around her, these feelings were overpowering her, making her giddy and restless.

And Sophie felt it too, how her gaze just gravitated towards the pregnant woman lingering there a while taking in all the beauty and radiance that the pregnancy brought, making her look more youthful and beautiful with each passing day. How her smile and laugh just captured her heart making it sing, how her little excited squeals over the smallest things made Sophie just want to protect and provide for her even more. But she was also scared, scared because if she allowed herself to fall for this woman, she knew Vicky would be gone forever... and she just wasn't ready to let go yet...

'Ohhh' Sian gasped out instinctively clutching her stomach as she sat on the edge of the bed.

Sophie looked up in panic from her position on the floor where she had been helping the blonde fold baby clothes and put them away. 'What's wrong' she cried out jerking forward resting her hand on the grimacing girl's knee...

'Whoa' Sian laughed out 'I think I've got a little Beckham in here' she giggled rubbing her bump vigorously... 'Didn't half give me a kick then' she giggled out.

Sophie smiled as she glanced down to the bump and back up again

'Ohh, little bugger' Sian squealed again as she jerked forward, grabbing Sophie's hand,

'Can I feel' Sophie asked looking up into the bluest eyes she'd ever seen.

Sian smiled as a tinge of redness flushed her cheeks.

'Hmm mmm' she replied as she moved Sophie's flattened palm to the part of her stomach that had just received the swift jolt, resting her hand on top as they waited for the next energetic movement.

'Can't feel anything' Sophie said quietly as Sian smiled at the concentration on the brunette's face.

'Be patient, it'll come' the blonde replied stroking the strong fingers tenderly beneath her own. Sian had never felt as close to anyone as she did at that moment, for the first time since finding out she was pregnant she felt that she wasn't alone, that she had some-one she could rely on, lean on, and it brought a contented smile to her face.

'There' she exclaimed when another sudden jolt hit her stomach.

'Ha' Sophie exclaimed loudly as a huge grin crossed her face, jolting her head up to find Sian smiling down at her... 'That's amazing' she whispered out as the blonde reached down and ran her fingers tenderly through the brunette's hair...

'Ahem' the sudden sound from the doorway made the women recoil abruptly from one another.

'Emma' Sophie exclaimed seeing her girlfriend stood in the bedroom doorway simmering.

'Wasn't expecting to see you until later' she continued as she stood and walked towards the raven haired girl, planting a chaste kiss to her cheek as she passed her.

'No I can see that' Emma spat out as she glared at the blonde who was staring back just as intensely.

Sian let out a sigh of relief when finally after raising her eyebrow at the resolute blonde Emma turned and followed Sophie out of the bedroom and into the kitchen...

'Shit' Sian spat out to herself as she raked her fingers through her hair in frustration...

'Fuck... I can't do this anymore' she berated herself as she heard the heated exchange between the couple emanating from the kitchen, then finally the front door slam shut.

Quietly stepping out of her room, Sian walked down the corridor picking up the mail that was on the hall table as she passed.

Sophie was sitting on the rug on the floor leaning against the chair as she sipped from the mug in her hands. Standing awkwardly Sian didn't know whether to stay or to go...

'Ummm' she said hesitantly trying to get the brunette's attention

'Is everything alright' she asked not really sure of where to look and well aware that the reason for the fight was the moment between them that Emma had witnessed.

Sophie grunted as she looked up and smiled beckoning for Sian to sit on the couch.

'Ah fuck her' Sophie said with a dismissive wave of her hand, 'fucking drama queen, I can't be doing with it' she continued as she saw the pile of letters in the blondes hands.

'God not more bills are they' she said nodding at the wad, making Sian glance downwards.

'Oh don't know I haven't checked yet' the blonde replied as she began to sift through the pile.

'Junk, junk... one for Mike, leckie bill ... oh and one for me' she exclaimed in a surprise tone.

Passing the remaining letters to the brunette Sian opened her letter as the smile drained from her features.

'Sian' Sophie enquired in a concerned voice as she got up from her position on the floor joining the quiet blonde on the edge of the couch.

'Babe' she muttered brushing some hair delicately around the perfectly formed earlobe with her fingertips and blushing at the affectionate term that seemed to slip so easily from her lips.

'Hmmm' Sian replied distractedly still scanning the letter in her hands ... if she'd heard what Sophie had called her she certainly wasn't giving anything away.

'What is it' Sophie asked getting her attention at last.

Trying desperately to raise a smile Sian lifted her eyes, looking deep into the blueness looking back at her inquizzitively.

'It's a letter from the housing association' she said dropping her hands onto her lap, 'they have a flat for me' she continued as Sophie gulped slightly.

'Oh' replied the brunette, sitting back slightly in shock.

'That was quick' she continued probing Sian's face for any sign of reluctance.

'Yeah, they want me to go and see it and either accept or reject it by the end of next week'.

Sophie nodded as she licked her lips and looked around the room.

'I'll come with you' she replied curtly standing and turning away, trying desperately to hide the disappointment on her face.

'You don't have to' Sian replied confused at the change in atmosphere between them.

'I want to' Sophie replied striding out of the room 'make an appointment'.

...

'And this is the kitchen' the tall dark haired housing assistant commented disinterestedly as he led the couple around the rundown flat with its peeling wallpaper, broken doors and smashed window panes as they moved from room to room.

'Its okay, isn't it Soph' The blonde commented as Sophie looked around the small space with a look of utter disgust on her face, 'are you kidding me' the brunette whispered bad temperedly 'it's a dump Sian' she replied before striding after the jabbering housing officer.

'What the hell is that' Sophie cried pointing to a large green patch just above the window.

'Ah damp' replied the young man as he glanced in the direction Sophie pointed.

'Damp' the brunette replied expressionless, 'Damp' and you're expecting a pregnant woman to move in here, what happens when the baby comes, mould spores flying around everywhere'.

'Soph' Sian whispered desperately trying to shut the older woman up...

Casting her eyes to the small blonde next to her Sophie took the hint grunting quietly to herself.

'Most of the dampness in these buildings is caused through bad ventilation, if people read there instruction packs when they take on the lease they'll find instructions on how to keep mould at bay... unfortunately most don't bother'. Replied the young man as he cast his eyes down to his jacket lapel picking a speck of fluff off before meeting Sophie's glare once more. 'Shall we go and see the bathroom now'.

Each room got progressively worse as they passed through them, but Sian being Sian tried to see the positive side and enthused about decoration of each room to her dark haired companion.

'It'll be fine Soph once I decorate... splash a bit of paint around, get some furniture in it'll be cosy' Sian smiled as Sophie scrunched her nose up as they walked through the flat.

An almighty crash followed by loud voices and screaming brought the threesome to a sudden halt. Sian's face dropped as she heard a woman's scream and a man's voice bellow out 'bitch' as another almighty crash followed.

Sophie's head spun in the assistant's direction 'What the hell is that' she enquired pointing to the wall where the row was emanating from behind.

'Ah... yes the Manfields... bit of a problem family I'm afraid' he replied nervously, 'Been trying to get rid of them for years, but they just keep having kids... we've an obligation to house them so they ended up here'.

'Ended up here' Sophie repeated taking a step forward 'What do you mean... ended up here' she asked her voice calm but stern...

'Well' the young man replied casting his gaze to the young blonde and back again, 'this isn't the most affluent part of Manchester is it' he said quietly nodding in Sian's direction.

'Really' Sophie spat out as she stood back looking the man up and down... 'So this is where you stick 'problem Families' is it' she continued punctuating her words with air quotation marks.

The assistant just stood and looked expressionless at the simmering brunette, as she tried desperately to hold onto her temper.

'Come on Sian' she spat out turning 'You're not staying here'

'Soph' Sian shouted out grabbing the brunette by the arm... 'I might not be offered anything else for months' she whispered out.

'Maybe even years' Sophie heard as she turned her attention to where the words had come from as the housing assistant stood looking at the pair with an annoyed expression on his face.

Taking a step towards him, Sophie felt a soft grip on her arm as she turned and saw the pleading features on the blondes face.

'Tell you what' she spat out as she turned her attention back to the man once more 'take her off your list all together, because she's got a home, she doesn't need a shithole like this'.

Turning Sophie grabbed Sian's hand as she tugged her out of the flat...

'Soph' Sian cried scurrying at the back of the annoyed woman...'Soph' she tried again shouting this time before finally tugging her hand out of the brunette's.

'Soph.. you can't make that decision for me'

'What...' Sophie replied incredulously raising her hands and letting them drop again in frustration...

'It's a pit Sian... surely to God you don't wanna live there'

'If I did or didn't its not your decision' Sian cried reaching up and grabbing the brunette by the tops of her arms...

Sophie stuttered as she looked at the petite blonde 'But I was only thinking of you' she spluttered out.

'I know, I know you were... but what am I gonna do now Soph...' the blonde replied letting her hands drop from the confused brunette.

'You can stay with me' Sophie replied surprised that Sian would ask such a question.

'Then what' Sian replied as her brow furrowed

Sophie looked at her confused 'What do you mean ...then what' she asked

'What happens once the babies born, when it's up half the night crying, when the place is full of dirty nappies and drying baby grows, when you're so exhausted from it all you could cry ' Sian hesitated as her breathing started to even out ' what then Soph'.

Sophie let out a long breath as she finally realised what was worrying the blonde.

'Sian... do you think things like that would bother me' Sophie replied softly taking a step closer 'I'd never see you on the street, you AND the baby can stay as long as you like ... in fact I quite like the idea of having a little one around the place' she smiled getting a relieved smile in return.

'Yeah' came the shy reply as Sian blushed under Sophie's intense gaze.

'Yeah' the brunette replied letting out a giggle as she stepped forward once more brushing her thumb across the blondes pale cheek...

'Come on' she whispered 'let's go home'.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

'Sian... do you think things like that would bother me' Sophie replied softly taking a step closer 'I'd never see you on the street, you AND the baby can stay as long as you like ... in fact I quite like the idea of having a little one around the place' she smiled getting a relieved smile in return.

'Yeah' came the shy reply as Sian blushed under Sophie's intense gaze.

'Yeah' the brunette replied letting out a giggle as she stepped forward once more brushing her thumb across the blondes pale cheek...

'Come on' she whispered 'let's go home'.

...

The weather was turning colder now... tree's were starting to shed their leaves and warm winter clothes were getting their first airing after months of being stored away in drawers and cupboards... It was the beginning of November. Beaming, Sophie began to open the birthday present that her Mum and Dad passed to her, she grinned as she lifted the lid on the familiar looking box, raising her head she let out a laugh and stood up to give Sally and Kevin a hug each before proudly holding up the new Ipad she'd just received to everyone gathered in her living room, getting a chorus of 'ooo's followed by a scattering of claps... Instinctively Sophie's eye's searched for the blonde that had been increasingly in her thoughts these last couple of months, finding her propped against the kitchen doorway, head tilted leaning against the frame, her hands in their usual position circling her ever expanding bump. Sophie grinned softly thinking how beautiful she looked, how luscious her hair was and how she was positively glowing...

Noticing the intensity with which Sophie looked at her made the blonde blush, glancing her eyes downward she felt her face grow hot, before slowly raising them again to see that the brunette's gaze was still focussed directly on her. Sian felt the heat in her cheeks intensify as a shy smile crossed her lips, in all truth she'd been looking at the brunette for quite a while, watching as she accepted gifts from various family and friends, hugging them tight and expressing her thanks. Sian had noticed how much Sophie had changed since that first meeting between them, long gone was the aggressive, argumentative lonely soul, and now stood this confident, beautiful, successful business woman, readily accepting congratulations and talking in a way that Sian never thought that she'd witness.

Sophie had opened up more and more to the young blonde about Vicky and her feelings, they'd grown closer, easier with one another, long gone were the long silence's and Sophie barricading herself in her bedroom with bottles of Whiskey. No now evenings were spent, cooking, chatting and laughing together, evenings when Emma wasn't there that was... When Emma arrived Sian usually hid herself in her bedroom. She could tell Emma didn't like her by the way she looked at her if she dared step out of her room when she was there. She was thankful for one thing though... Emma never stayed the night... Sophie wouldn't allow it... but the nights Sophie was gone, Sian couldn't help but imagine what was going on between them and it drove her insane with jealousy...

Snapping back her attention to the party that was going on Sian's smile faded as she noticed that Emma had now draped her arms around Sophie's neck and Sophie had hers around her waist as they swayed to the music chatting and smiling to one another seemingly oblivious to the people and noise around them. For whatever reason the scene hit Sian, a wave of nausea overcame her. Turning abruptly she walked into the kitchen, reaching out she grabbed for the sink as she lowered her head and breathed in deeply trying to get the sickly feeling to retreat.

'Sian ... you okay love' The blonde heard the familiar tones of Sophie's Mum Sally resonate from behind her as she took one last deep breath, she leaned forward taking a glass and filling it with water before taking a large gulp. Turning Sian smiled at the older woman who was looking at her concerned.

'Yeah I'm fine' she replied 'just felt a little hot for a second' she continued as she fanned her face with her open hand as a way of explanation.

'Hmm I remember that feeling well' Sally replied as she moved around the table pulling out a chair, 'Sit down for a minute love, get your breath back' she continued as the blonde smiled and did as she was told.

'What's wrong' the women heard as Sian glanced up to the doorway noticing Sophie stood there looking at her with an alarmed look on her face.

'Oh nothing love, she's fine, just felt a bit queasy didn't you sweetheart' Sally replied and rubbed the blonde girls shoulder...

'Is she okay' Sophie spat as she lurched forward dropping to her knees in front of the pale blonde. 'Are you okay' she repeated as she grabbed Sian's hand stroking it.

Smiling Sian nodded as she looked deep into the anxious eyes looking back at her.

'Oh she'll be fine, don't worry... a cool drink and a sit down will sort her out' Sally replied out as she strode out of the room.

Sophie watched as her Mum left the room before turning back to the blonde, looking up she looks into Sian's face her heart skipped a beat at the beauty she found there, a sudden urge to just lean in and kiss her overcame the brunette as she fought with every fibre in her not to ...

Sian sensed the change in atmosphere between them as she saw Sophie's eye's grow dark... her breath quickened, she'd been fighting her intense and increasing attraction to the brunette for weeks now, and she could also feel herself losing the battle. She'd spent nights in bed fantasizing about kissing her, wondered what it would feel like to have the brunette's lip's touching her own... her arms around her holding her...

'Excuse me' Sian whispered as the intensity of the moment overcame her... brushing Sophie's hands away from her lap she stood and walked over to the sink... she had to get away from her, if she didn't she knew she wouldn't be able to control the feelings raging around inside her. Standing Sophie watched silently... she swore she could see Sian shaking. Turning Sophie walked over to the kitchens entrance as she silently closed the door to. Turning back she couldn't help but notice how perfect the blonde was in every single way... Sian could hear Sophie's advance behind her as her demeanour stiffened...

'Sian' she heard in little more than a whisper as she felt a warm body press into her back and hands wrap around her waist resting on the bump in front of her.

The strands of Ed Sheerans 'Kiss me' could be heard emanating from the party as Sian could feel Sophie begin to shake.

'God you are so beautiful' she heard whispered in her ear as a delicate kiss was left just behind it. Swallowing hard the blonde's heart started to beat out of control, as she felt soft lips touch the base of her neck...

_**'kiss me like you wanna be loved, wanna be loved, wanna be loved'**_the strands of the words of the song matching the mood that was developing between them.

The kiss was like fire there leaving its imprint as another then another was administered... Sian couldn't help but let a low moan escape her lips, as she felt the strong muscular body press more into hers... She felt herself being turned as suddenly she was facing the taller brunette, her hands resting at the top of the muscular toned shoulders... she could see the nervous pulse in the brunette's neck as she swallowed hard, Sophie's gaze alternating from her eyes to her lips and back again.

_**'This feels like we're falling in love, falling in love, falling in love, falling in love'**_

'Sophie ... I' Sian started to say but before she anything she could say anything more the brunette's lips were pressed hard to her own, the kiss was hot and hungry... as their lips moving in a fluid motion together, Sophie couldn't stop the soft moan that escaped her throat as Sian's mouth opened allowing her access as their tongues glanced together barely touching but just enough... Sian thought she would literally die at the beauty of it. She'd never been kissed like this before, she could feel the want, the desire and it scared her half to death...she'd never wanted anyone or anything as much as she did this woman at that moment... The kiss seemed to go on for an eternity... hands raking through hair, as the intensity between them grew, low moans left throats as the kiss deepened... before breathlessly pulling apart. Leaning her forehead on the blondes... Sophie breathed in deeply, trying desperately to control the feelings raging through her veins ... all she wanted to do at that moment was attach her lips to Sian's once more... drink her in... God she wanted this woman, she had to admit that now, and she knew nothing on heaven or earth could stop these feelings she had for her... Pulling slowly away Sophie looked deep into the expectant eye's looking back at her... but before any words could be passed between them the door suddenly opened startling them away from one another.

'Shit...' Tina spat as she quickly realised what she'd just walked in on quickly turning she closed the kitchen door once more... not realising her actions had been noticed by someone amongst the party goers.

'Fuck I knew there was something going on between you two' she hissed stepping into the room as the couple released there embrace from one another.

'Talk about walking a fine line, anyone could have walked in' she continued in hushed tones as the couple looked at her wide eyed...

'Look Tina, it's... it was just a birthday kiss' Sophie exclaimed as Sian shot her a wft look...

'Oh fuck off Sophie...' Tina replied with a huff... 'Do you think I'm stupid... do you honestly think I haven't noticed the way you look at her, the way you talk about her' her raven haired friend replied as Sian's mouth fell open in shock.

'Teen you can't say anything' Sophie cried as she took a step forward grabbing onto her friends shoulders... 'It was just a kiss'

'Just a kiss' they heard roared ... making the pair swivel their heads in the direction the sounds had come from... coming face to face with the angry contorted features of Sian's brother as he stood in the opened doorway...

'Mike' Sophie exclaimed in surprise 'Mike come in please, close the door I can explain' Sophie cried as she tried to grab onto the man's arm as he yanked it out of her grasp.

'Explain... explain what exactly eh... explain that you've taken advantage of a young pregnant girl... explain that you just can't control yourself, explain that you're a class a bitch'.

'No' Sophie exclaimed... taking a step back at the onslaught her best friend had directed at her.

'I trusted you' Mike bellowed... 'I trusted you to look after her... not seduce her... she's not gay Sophie... she's pregnant for Christ's sake' he continued to shout as a crowd began to gather around the kitchen entrance...

'Mike it's not like that' Sophie stuttered as Sian reached forward wrapping her hand comfortingly around the older girls arm...

The action incensed the man as he lurched forward grabbing Sian's Arm and yanking her roughly away from the brunette. Instinctively Sophie reacted as she pushed the taller man backwards unbalancing him.

'Don't you ever touch her like that again' she hissed as she manoeuvred herself between the two siblings protectively moving Sian to stand behind her...

'Now I know you're upset Mike and I'm sorry, but don't you ever grab her like that again' she continued to growl as the blonde looked on wide eyed.

'Sophie' the brunette heard a familiar voice as her stomach dropped... 'what the hell's happening' turning Sophie closed her eyes as she let out a deep sigh... opening her eyes once more Sophie looked at the raven haired girl now stood in the kitchen doorway.

'We need to talk Emma' she sighed out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

'Now I know you're upset Mike and I'm sorry, but don't you ever grab her like that again' she continued to growl as the blonde looked on wide eyed.

'Sophie' the brunette heard a familiar voice as her stomach dropped... 'what the hell's happening' turning Sophie closed her eyes as she let out a deep sigh... opening her eyes once more Sophie looked at the raven haired girl now stood in the kitchen doorway.

'We need to talk Emma' she sighed out.

...

The party atmosphere soon disappeared as Kevin and Sally herded the remaining guests out of the flat, Sophie sat on the chair in the living room leaning forward elbows on her knees and her chin rested on the back of her entwined hands as she strained to listen to the heated conversation Sian and Mike were engaged in, in the Kitchen. Tina was trying desperately to calm Emma down in the hallway as Sally walked around the living room bin bag in one hand as she collected the discarded plastic cups and leftover food on paper plates tutting her disapproval at her youngest daughter's behaviour.

Sitting on the arm of the chair next to his daughter Kevin sighed out as he snaked his arm around her shoulder pulling her gently into his body in a comforting embrace...

'Oh Dad' she sighed out turning her face and burying it into the rugged man's side.

'Come on love' he replied rubbing her shoulder affectionately...

'It's not that bad Soph ... everyone'll get over it'... he continued trying his hardest to placate the young girl.

...

'But, but' Sian stuttered as Mike glared at her.

'No buts... you're coming with me' he barked as he turned and strode out of the kitchen into his sisters bedroom, pulling open drawers and scooping the contents out in one fell swoop...

Sophie snapped her head up at the sound of the burly man stomping his way through the flat. Shrugging off her father's embrace she stood and walked slowly into the kitchen where Sian was stood with her back to her, one arm wrapped around herself above her bump and the other hand rubbing her forehead.

'Sian' Sophie spoke gently, seeing the blonde girl stiffen at her words.

Sniffing into the back of her hand Sian slowly turned as she darted her eyes anywhere but back at the penetrating look staring at her...

'I'm leaving' she sighed out, making the brunette rock back on her heels

'Right' Sophie crocked out as she folded her arms across her chest and glanced down at the floor.

'It's for the best' she heard in a broken whisper as the brunette nodded still not meeting the blonde's eyes...

'Mike's been really good to me Sophie... I don't want to upset him any more'

'No, I know' was all the brunette could muster in response...

Sian sniffed once more before hesitantly walking past the brunette to get to the door.

'Sian' Sophie whispered as the blonde got level with her making her stop her stride.

'I can take care of you' she whispered as Sian snapped her head to the words...

'You and the baby' the brunette continued as she reached out taking hold of the blonde's hand.

Sian's breathing intensified; her chest began to rise and fall at the statement ... The intensity of the moment engulfed them both as eye's met and minds began to swim...

'Stay' Sophie whispered squeezing the fingers her hand was wrapped around...

Sian's breath caught at the sheer emotion that one simple word evoked...

'Sian' Mike barked making the blonde jump and snaps her head in the direction of the door.

'Move' was the next instruction as Sian returned her gaze to the pleading eyes of the brunette's... hesitating a second she shook her head as tears began to fill her eyes.

'I can't' she stuttered

'You mean you won't' Sophie sighed closing her eyes.

'Same thing' Sian replied

'I'm sorry' she mouthed before sliding her fingers out of the soft hand they were enclosed within and walking out past her brother.

'It's not the same thing' Sophie whispered to herself as she walked over to the kitchen window gazing out into the dark night.

'Stay away from her' Sophie heard hissed at her...

Turning on the spot she was met with dark angry eye's boring into hers...

'Try all you want Mike' she spat back her chest heaving as anger began to rise 'but you can't keep me away from her'

'I'm warning you' he hissed taking a step towards the seething brunette...

'Whoa, whoa' Kevin interjected as he grabbed hold of the younger mans arms tugging him backwards...

'One thing you don't do sunshine' Kevin shouted out in his usual gruff manner... 'You do not threaten my daughter... Do you hear me' he hissed as he moved to within an inch of startled man's face...

Huffing Mike started to walk backwards as he alternated his glare between Father and daughter...

'This isn't over yet'... he growled out pointing his finger menacingly.

'Mike' Sophie pleaded 'please we're friends'...

'No, no we're not' Mike replied still walking backwards 'not anymore' was the last thing he said before turning and stomping out if the flat..

'Mike' the brunette continued to shout as her dad stopped her from following...

'Leave it love' Kevin uttered calming his daughter as she slumped onto one of the kitchen chairs...

'You've got more urgent things to sort out' he continued as he nodded his head towards Emma who had just entered the living room with Tina.

Hearing everyone leave and the front door close, Sophie collected herself walking into the living room she found the younger brunette there sat on the sofa; eyes red and puffy through crying...

Sophie hesitated as the watery eyes met her own...

'How long has it been going on' the younger woman croaked, as Sophie let out a loud sigh...

'It hasn't Emma... not like that anyway' Sophie replied as she walked over to the sideboard still covered in various alcoholic bottles... Taking a bottle of whiskey and an empty glass, she poured herself a large one before swigging it back in one gulp... shuddering at the effect the liquid had as it slid down her throat..

Standing Emma wrapped her arms around herself as she watched Sophie pour herself a second drink...

'Are you not going to explain this to me' Emma persisted voice broken and shaking...

Sophie closed her eyes and let out a sharp breath. Turning she shrugged as she took another drink.

'You know the situation Emma' She said 'you know I'm not over Vicky'

'This isn't about Vicky' Emma shouted startling the older girl, 'this is about that slut you've had living here'

'That's enough' Sophie hissed striding past the upset woman...

'Really I haven't even started yet' Emma replied as she grabbed onto Sophie's arm turning her.

'I can give you anything you want... anything... what can she give you, she's just trailer trash that's slept around hoping to get pregnant to get away from that brute of a Father'..

'Shut up' Sophie hissed

But nothing was stopping Emma now.

'But no, the lad was too clever wasn't he, ran as quick as he could'...

'I've told you' Sophie hissed as she tugged her arm away 'that's enough'

'Oh that's not nearly enough Sophie' Emma replied curling her lip in anger.

'Then she latched onto you, and you fell for it'

'I've said that's enough... you know nothing about this...' Sophie replied eyes flashing with anger.

'I know that she's got her claws into you'

Silence followed for what seemed like an eternity as both women let out heavy breaths...

'I love you' Emma whispered voice dripping with emotion.

Sophie closed her eyes at the admission...

'Oh Emma' she replied raking her hands through her hair 'I never asked for that...'

'What did you expect' Emma cried throwing her arms up in frustration 'you knew I was falling for you... you knew...'

'And you knew I was still grieving for Vicky... I couldn't love you Emma' Sophie spat out angrily...

'What is wrong with you' Emma shouted back... 'She's dead... she...is... dead Sophie'

'Shut up'... Sophie cried 'Shut up... shut up'

'No... You need to hear this...'

...

Sian walked into the flat after her brother greeting Amy she asked where her room was and immediately went to it slamming the door behind her.

Slumping down onto the bed... Sian couldn't contain the grief she felt as a loud sob left her lips... Hearing a quiet knock on the door Sian wiped her eyes as she straightened up.

'Come in' she croaked out

'Hi' Amy said as she popped her head around the door...

'Hi' Sian sniffed as she threw her legs over the edge of the bed to sit up.

Walking into the room Amy sat on the bed next to the upset blonde.

'Mike's told me what happened' Amy said placing her hand in the small of Sian's back circling her hand there soothingly.

'Hmm mm' the blonde replied

'He's sorry he lost his temper like that Sian, he was just shocked that's all'

'I know' Sian replied looking down at her hands that were placed on her lap.

'Do you want to tell me about it' Amy pressed, trying to catch the blonde girl's eye.

Sian shrugged... 'I don't know what to say' she replied shyly.

'Is it true' Amy asked hesitantly 'is there something going between you and Sophie?'

'I don't know' Sian replied cheeks wet with tears, 'I'm so confused Amy, I've never felt like this before, she's all I can think about. I just want to be with her all the time... I just... I... I don't know'

'And the kiss' Amy pressed

'It just happened' Sian replied in little more than a whisper.

'How many time's has it just happened'

'This was the first time... but God I wanted it so badly Amy' Sian rasped out emotionally... 'I've wanted it for so long'.

'So what does this mean Sian' Amy continued to press still circling the small of the blondes back with the palm of her hand.

Sian shrugged as she dabbed at her eyes...

'I don't know' she replied dejectedly...

'But you want to be with her'

Sian let out another sob as she turned her tear filled eye's to Amy...

'Yes' she rasped out emotionally...

'I do... more than anything'

'and does she want to be with you'

'I think so' the blonde replied shrugging 'she asked me to stay'

'What about Emma... and... well and this thing with Vicky' Amy continued...

'I don't know' Sian replied 'We never intended for this to happen, I just... I've never felt like this before Aim's... I can't explain it but every time she walks in the room, things just seem to be better. I feel wanted and loved and cared for... and I haven't in such a long time'

Amy smiled and nodded for the blonde to continue.

'She's opened up a lot to me about Vicky... I know she'll always love her... I know that... but that doesn't mean she can't love me too Aim's... does it' she questioned.

...

'You need to hear this Sophie' Emma shouted as loudly as she could as she followed the fleeing woman through the flat.

'She's dead... she died 3 years ago... it was awful and horrible and a total waste of a young life but she's gone... and it doesn't matter how long you grieve for her Sophie she won't be coming back'.

By the time the last word was spoken Sophie was curled up in a ball at the side of her bed the palms of her hands firmly planted over both ears as she rocked back and forth...

Several minutes passed in silence as Emma fought to get her temper under control... Kneeling down the younger girl reached out to touch the wreck of a woman whimpering softly... the touch making Sophie's body jerk away.

Several more minutes passed until eventually Sophie dropped her hands from her ears...

'I know she's dead' she whispered hardly audible... 'I know she died 3 years ago... I know because I died too'...

The statement made Emma rock back on her feet...

Turning Sophie looked up at the dark haired girl looking down on her...

'And I am ready to move on... to love again' she whispered making Emma's face expression soften...

'But not with you' Sophie continued shrugging. The words not said to hurt or humiliate, but said so that finally Sophie could admit to herself her true feelings for the missing blonde...

Emma seemed to realise what the sentiment meant behind the words... she just smiled and leaning down she gently placed a kiss on Sophie's forehead, lingering there a second, she whispered.

'Then go and get her... and don't let Mike or anyone else stop you'.


End file.
